It is easy to get lost in a forest by only looking down under our feet - careful, there is a root sticking out of the ground, don’t step into the puddle, don’t trip over that tree-stump.
It’s the same story with feeling stuck in life.
Being stuck means dreading getting up in the morning to relive the same day all over again. Work that slowly drains us of energy and leaves us depleted. When the highlight of the day is eating a large meal with a glass of wine and watching TV in the evening. When we have to physically exhaust ourselves for hours in gym just to numb our feelings.
That’s stuck. And it’s a mindset.
Feeling Stuck and Bored With Life
Putting all our attention on what is going on around us, what we are currently living. Not thinking about what interests, excites and makes us feel alive. Not daring to dream and envision.
We feel stuck and bored with life. And that is exactly where we are - stuck in the past, reliving what has already been experienced and created, our energy isn’t flowing, we are not growing.
What’s worse, we are not really living - our expectations and perspective is based on past experiences and beliefs - we keep ourselves stuck in the past.
Being stuck is a mindset. Unconscious, for most part, but still a mindset.
Photo by Stuart Richards.
Can’t Take the Next Step
Being stuck means we are not growing or changing. We’re playing it safe. Staying in our comfort zone.
But without growth and expansion we won’t feel satisfied, fulfilled and happy.
It is not a question of achieving anything, though. Not about stuff, position, recognition or power. It is all about our inner experience - about expressing and shaping who we are. It’s about true joy and experience.
Replaying the Old Experiences
One sure sign of being stuck is constantly replaying old conversations in our heads, based on our past experiences and shaping our expectations of future.
By keeping our old and negative inner conversations alive we are wasting this moment - we are not growing and changing. Even more so, by keeping our negative expectations, we are not allowing others to change.
“I knew he’d do that, he’s always so difficult!” - we ‘predict’ our future experiences. People behave the way we expect them to behave.
In the end, we are the ones paying the price - experiencing negative emotions, expecting bad things from others, feeling bored and lethargic.
How to Get Un-Stuck and Regain Interest in Life
To get un-stuck we need to change our focus - shift it toward what interests us, what we find exciting, what gives us energy and makes us feel alive.
The first requirement is to allow ourselves to dream - what would I want, what would I like to experience, how would I like to feel, what would interest me?
As you start contemplating things that interest you, that you find fascinating, that give you energy and make you feel alive - celebrate your small victories. A changed feeling, a new thought, a better inner conversation is a victory! Celebrate your small victories!
Change happens gradually. Small daily steps go a long way. Notice how your feelings and thoughts change. Make the connection between your deliberate search for interest, excitement and your improved feelings, energy levels and changed thought patterns.
It really helps build confidence in our ability to change and affect how we feel.
Thoughts and emotions build a momentum - the more we focus upon what we want, the easier it gets, the more fully we feel and experience. And before long, we have created better thought patterns that lead to better actions and results.
Examples to Practice:
- Morning routine and commute - imagine having a good morning routine and a pleasant commute to work - you wake up well rested and energised, the morning is easy and free-flowing.
- Conversations - imagine having interesting, constructive and creative conversations with coworkers.
- Nature - pay more attention to nature, what do you especially like about it - the sunshine, wind, green grass, trees. Notice how contemplating nature makes you feel.
- Mood - imagine feeling good, satisfied and happy at the end of the day.
Photo by Alex Kuruz.
Notice how your mood - emotions and thoughts - change as you imagine each scenario. If you feel better in the imagined scene than in everyday life, then you have successfully found something to focus upon to get unstuck!
Better-feeling thoughts gives us more energy, provide clarity and will to act. In other words, the better we feel, the more we are able to positively change our lives.
How much better your day would be if you had more energy and clarity, if you felt happier and interested in life?
Nothing on the outside has to change for us to feel better. We already posses all we need.
We only need to shift our focus.
Being stuck is a mindset. It is a sign that we are replaying old inner conversations that are based on past experiences - we are living in the past.
The way to get un-stuck is to dare to dream and focus upon what interests us, what excites us, what makes us feel alive.
Thoughts and emotions build a momentum and before long we can create new thought patterns that empower us to make changes.
What has been your experience with being stuck? What did you do to get out of the rut and regain interest in life?
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